We Where Here & Obituaries

This new documentary, We Where Here, promises to be a so needed historical piece on the arrival of the AIDS epidemic and the gay liberation movement. There is a plethora of books, academic and otherwise –including my on forthcoming book Compañeros – chronicling the AIDS epidemic and its impact on the gay and lesbian communities, but we’re missing the imagery, sounds, and voices of the time. It will be screened this weekend at Sundance.

Take a look at the trailer here http://wewereherefilm.com/.

Through the film’s site, I found the archive of the obituaries published by the San Francisco gay news paper, Bay Area Reporter. I found myself hooked reading those published in the 1980s-1990s. To give you a sense of the devastation among gay men: between January and February of 1982, there were only 2 obituaries published, four years later, same month: 74.
I'm showing two obituaries here from the archive of the 1990s.

The boomers in the NYT and the ones I know

This piece on the NYT reminded me of a man (to whom I’d refer to as Charles) I have come to know in the last few months. He is turning 60 in a few weeks. He is gay and living with HIV since the mid 1990s. Charles has never had a birthday cake or celebration. Never. Growing up, he did not have mom or dad around. He was abused. He has been in many places. I can see his wounds and his fragility through his eyes. Charles rarely looks directly into my eyes. He chuckles anxiously and briefly; it sounds like a cry. But he is tall and looks robust, despite his frail health.

Charles does know that a few of his new friends (and I) are preparing a birthday celebration for him, with a home-made cake. We know he is not in a good place right now, but hope he comes out for his birthday cake.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/01/us/01boomers.html?hpw

Boomers Hit New Self-Absorption Milestone: Age 65

National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day

Today, September 18, we remember and speak about the older men, women, and transgenders living with HIV/AIDS. For one day, or even for a few minutes, let’s make them visible. As the National Institutes of Health’s statement notes, this population group is growing and its health challenges are mounting –although we still know very little about the implications of aging with HIV/AIDS and the medical treatments.

Sharing and making visible our stories

Gen Silent is a new documentary film on the difficulties senior lesbian, gay, and transgender people are facing to address their basic health needs. This is about discrimination and silence in old age. Thanks to Stu Maddux for creating another powerful and moving film. We need to get these stories out in the big and small screen, the cyberworld, the press, and in our dining tables.

Come and support the film when it comes to your city. Check the website for updates.

From the Ashes Risen

Take a look at this trailer and learn about this documentary project by Tribal Elder Productions. This is a unique and needed effort to collect testimonials of older gay men who have survived HIV and AIDS. The stories in the trailer are sad. You can see and hear the grieving as they cry and recount the stories of their lost friends and lovers. And there are some details that tell us about our efforts to maintain a collective memory, a history, in the face of possible extinction. For example, some men kept a list of those how had died. Others still keep their personal address book, marking those who have passed away.

The story of the AIDS epidemic remains unresolved. Not only are people still getting infected, but also we, gay men, are still struggling with guilt, the morality of HIV/AIDS, the courage and hope we once had, grief, and bigotry.

Thanks to Roger Goodman and his team for undertaking this task.

The Whiteness of Aging

If you were to stop by a LGBT aging organization, group, or event, I bet you’d think all older LGBT are Caucasian. African American and Latinos, apparently, do not age or don’t not get to reach old age. I am exaggerating a little, but the general conclusion holds. You might find a couple of African American lesbian women and perhaps one African American older gay man. That’s all.

A few days ago, I attended a reception to announce the launch of a major program, at both the local and national levels, for older LGBT. I, not yet an older gay man, was the only brown person in the room. There were no African Americans, males or females. And nobody raises the issue or questions it. That’s what I would call the status quo and the invisibility of large sectors of our society.

I am not blaming organizations or groups. There are a few individuals in those organizations concerned about the lack of ethnic minorities in their membership. This is a reality many of us are dealing with and trying to figure out. In my own research, I have trouble finding older gay men who are African American of Latin American descent. I can’t find them.

Where do they live? With their families of origin? Where do they socialize? Do they think of themselves as gay or bisexual men? Does their gay/bi identity matter to them?

Grieving

Older adults face the loss of love ones, siblings, friends, and neighbors in much higher frequency than other adults. Death and grieving are part of the experience of growing old. Yet, this might not be true for older gay men (and lesbian and transgenders). Gayby boomers have had their share of grieving before reaching old age. When they were young --in their 30s and 40s-- they lost partners, boyfriends, friends, and members of their communities to HIV. Their youth and adult lives were defined by HIV and AIDS. Many of them are still grieving. The grief is personal – as when one’s partner dies—and is communal because scores of gay men were killed.

Or perhaps the early familiarity with death has provided gayby boomers with resources to better deal with death in their older years?